Monday, February 24, 2014

Happy Birthday......

Hope all had a good weekend. I tried to keep myself busy as to not to dwell on all that seems to be hitting me all at once, I know God has it and its all in His timing, but I still worry until He answers or shows me a solution. Praying for ...understanding from some friends of things that are beyond my control. Feeling really alone this last week and yet I know I'm not, manage to unpack one more box and came across things of Wayne's, not sure how this keeps happening as I swear I've placed all his things in the memorial box, and of course emotions flowed freely and glad I was home when it happened...but I guess its God's way of showing me that yes I'm healing, but still have a ways to go and to stay focused on Him. I manage to make another card this weekend, not as detailed, but at least the creative juices are flowing, now if I can just get everything else flowing the same way I'll be doing good. God is good no matter the rough journey I'm experiencing right now.

Friday, February 21, 2014

I think the Mojo has Begun to Return....

I am finally moved into my new place, everything is put away and unpacked except for 5 boxes. Still have to paint the accent walls and put pictures up as well as all the drapes, but for the most part I'm pretty settled. I had saved my craft room for last to unpack so I could take my time going through things I've had for years, organizing all the crafty items and arranging so it would be easy to reach when crafting at my desk. My sweet son came over and got all my shelves hung in my craft room and that's when I really began to unpack as now there was a place for everything out of each box. I came across a box of cards I had started two years ago, but when Wayne became ill I stopped and just kind of threw all the pieces in the box thinking I would get to them soon, but that was not the case. So now all settled in my new home, I decided to pull out the box, looking at all I had placed in there 2 years ago and reminiscing of why I had cut, punched and placed the embellishments in it and decided last night to assemble and make a card. I'm sure this wasn't one I had planned on, but it was like putting a puzzle together and this is what I came up with. Simple but elegant I think. But it just feels good to start getting my creativity back and do what my heart has missed doing for so long.

A little late...But Happy New Year!!!!!

Can't believe it's 2014!!! Where did time go? So many changes that are getting ready to take place for me this year! In December of 2013 my family and I celebrated Christmas on December 22nd, which I was dreading due to the fact that was Wayne and I's 21st anniversary. But in the midst of being so emotional that morning, God reminded me that he was right next to me, holding and comforting me through this difficult day. Later in the afternoon I  went over to my son's house  along with my daughter and her family we celebrated Christmas and exchanged gifts. The grandkids were in ooh and awe of the gifts they had received as well as my kids as I had a couple surprises for them as well. As we were gathering up the wrappings, ribbons and so forth to be thrown away, my sweet daughter(in-law) said wait there is one more special gift for Mom/Grandma. Of course I had this shocked looked on my face, but she handed me the box that on top said Merry and Bright. I removed the lid and there was this tear jerker letter written by my grown kids and their spouses acknowledging how strong I had stayed this past year and that although I still had challenges ahead in my new life they wanted me to know that they loved me and to remember that God was right beside me. So after calming myself down from the letter, I see there is this picture of the ocean with the massive waves with a beautiful sentiment written on it as well, okay tears are still coming but not as much as before, then I remove the picture and here sits a black velvet box and I open it and here is this beautiful Jane Seymour Open Heart 14k white gold pendant with sapphires symbolizing the waves and where my beloved had been buried. Now the down pour of tears followed. I asked the children why and they said because we love you mom and when you wear that necklace  you'll always know how much we love you and glad you are our mother/mother-in law. And that Dad is in heaven with God looking down on you.  Needless to say I was so moved and so blessed to have such wonderful kids who are always loving me and making me feel special.

Since August 2013 I had been praying that The Lord would help me find a new place to live not only for financial reasons but because I could no longer come in this home that we shared together without becoming depressed and crying.  Wayne made our home a custom home, with the custom painted walls, the way things were hung and accents to compliment each room. Well God came through in November and I will be moving out on February 1st to a new place that I will able to call "Mine" not ours. I sold the 73 inch TV, the leather furniture that he so dearly loved as we have had leather ever since we were married which was fine, but now I want to make it more girly if you will, our home  was decorated around the Tuscany theme with grapes, vines, and using the colors of Taupe Latte walls with one wall being accented in Cranberry Cove. Now I've decided to pack all that away and my new place will have plaids and florals making a more old English country look. I'm excited about
the bedroom as for the first time I'll finally be able to have to my lavender/heathermist bedroom. But I think the most exciting thing is that I will finally be able to get back into God given talent of crafting. It had been impossible for me to craft these last 16 months due to the fact that Wayne was in that room a lot as he went through his treatments and would sleep while I crafted away. The presence of him was so heavy in the room. But God is good and he has answered some of the prayers already.  I've been